i may despise galen erso from the bottom of my shriveled maggoty heart but i have to tell you guys how he managed to sneak in the death star weak spot according to the rogue one novelization because it’s hilarious. if you’re expecting some feat of engineering genius so subtle no one noticed it, you are wrong. galen got krennic to sign off on it himself.
he annoyed the fuck out of krennic by cc-ing him in like a million emails to death star r&d.
so i know we’re behind schedule here but we found this structural flaw and wanted to let you guys know about it, says galen.
and r&d is like okay so how do we fix it?
and galen is like well we could start over?
and r&d is like no that’ll take too long.
and galen promises to think about it and writes to them later all hey how about we make some additional investments and get better materials?
and r&d is like no that’s too expensive.
and galen is like weeeell….
and r&d is like well what?
and galen goes well there’s something we can do but you’re not gonna like it.
and r&d is like okay what is it.
and galen is like are you sure you want to hear it?
yes, goes r&d.
like, really really super sure?
yes, goes r&d.
okay so the problem is radiation buildup, says galen. have i mentioned the problem is radiation buildup?
30 emails ago, r&d says.
right, so. says galen. we could build this exhaust port but it’s not going to get rid of all the radiation all the time, so if you’re having some stormtroopers around they might be exposed to it. i can look into some other options to reduce–
at which point krennic, who’s been cc’d in all of this, goes JUST PUT THE FUCKING EXHAUST PORT IN AND GET IT OVER WITH FUCK THOSE STORMTROOPERS ALL THESE EMAIL NOTIFICATIONS ARE DRIVING ME NUTS
and galen is like okay :)
This, THIS is EXACTLY why I felt the need to tweet Alexander Freed and let him know why the novelisation was so important to me, because this is a man who understands the absolute mind-numbing tedium of project management by committee.
Star Wars is and always has been about human nature, and sure, we chuck in some lasers and spaceships for funsies, but it’s about politics and human behaviour, and if you can make one of the the biggest plot holes in sci-fi history turn into a completely logical and rational event just because you understand that big decisions get made precisely because “I AM TOO TIRED TO BOTHER WITH THIS ANY MORE” then you are an absolute immortal genius, to my mind.
Oh my god I wish this was included in the movie somehow.
so the thing about my family is that we have two ancestors on my dad’s side who were buried in france, where I currently live. one died in the spanish civil war, and one died prior doing…we don’t know what. but he somehow managed to get buried in père lachaise.
so anyhow, my gran sends me a message like “pls put flowers on ur uncle samuel’s grave because he’s gone over a century with none and it will make the ghost mad if he hasn’t already” because my family spends time in europe but never long enough to go all the way to père lachaise and give ya boy samuel jr. his death rites. so im like “ok gran I can do that” bc im a good grandson and you do not fuck with gran she doesn’t DESERVE THAT
i figure out which plot he’s on and ask someone specifically where you can find uncle samuel jr. and they tell me where and so I arrive at the junction and.
HE GONE.
WHERE DID YOU GO UNCLE SAMUEL.
*celine dion’s smash hit “my heart will go on” playing in the distance*
in other words either someone stole my entire great great uncle samuel or he has risen again, ready to party in paris for all of eternity.
You’re pretty chill about a corpse disappearing.
My guy, my dude, he’s been dead since 1851. He could be anywhere. He does what he wants.
Mean Girls actor Rajiv Surendra is a jack-of-all-trades
Seriously, is there anything this man CANNOT do??
I remember him from Mean Girls and this really good book he wrote, The Elephants in My Backyard, about his decade-long attempt to get cast in the Life of Pi film and it is a goddamn delight.
Also, he’s a really fucking hot Desi guy, I’m smitten…
